What Happens When You Reach Out for Counselling? A Guide to Your First Steps
Taking the first step towards counselling can feel like one of the hardest parts of the whole process.
You may have been thinking about it for weeks, months or even years. Perhaps you've found yourself looking at therapists' websites more than once, wondering whether now is the right time.
If that sounds familiar, you're certainly not alone.
Many people tell me that making contact felt far more daunting than they expected. They worried about saying the wrong thing, not knowing where to begin, or whether what they were experiencing was "serious enough" to ask for help.
The truth is, you don't need to have everything figured out before you reach out. You don't need the perfect words, and you don't need to know exactly what you want from counselling.
There isn't an expectation that you'll arrive with a clear explanation or a plan for what needs to change. My role isn't to tell you who you should be or what you ought to do. Instead, I offer a calm, accepting space where we can gently explore what's happening for you, at your pace, and begin to make sense of it together.
I believe you are the expert on your own life. My role isn't to provide quick answers or tell you what to do, but to walk alongside you with empathy, curiosity and respect as we explore what matters most to you.
If you're wondering what actually happens once you make contact, then here it is, step by step.
Step One: Your Enquiry
The first step is simply getting in touch.
You can contact me by phone, using the form on my website, or via email, whichever feels right for you.
You might say write something like:
"I've been struggling with anxiety for a while and wondered if you have any availability."
Or perhaps:
"I'm not really sure what I need, but I think I'd like to talk to someone."
There is no right or wrong way to make contact.
You don't need to tell me everything at once, explain everything clearly, or even know exactly why you're reaching out.
Just making that first connection is enough.
What Happens Next?
I aim to respond to all enquiries within 48 hours.
Rather than expecting you to commit to counselling immediately, I'll usually invite you to a free 20–30 minute introductory telephone call.
This gives us both the opportunity to see whether working together feels like a good fit.
Choosing a counsellor is an important decision, and it's completely reasonable to want to get a sense of who you'll be talking to before booking a session.
What Happens During the Introductory Call?
Many people feel nervous about this part, but it really is just a relaxed conversation.
You don't need to prepare anything.
During our call, I'll invite you to tell me a little about what's brought you to counselling, only as much as you feel comfortable sharing.
You don't have to prepare for the conversation or worry about saying the "right" thing. I'll simply meet you where you are, listening with curiosity, empathy and without judgement.
We'll also talk through practical details such as session times, fees and availability, and I'll answer any questions you have about counselling, or how I work.
Feeling comfortable with your counsellor matters, it is one of the strongest factors in successful therapy. It's important that you feel safe, heard and able to be yourself.
If, after our conversation, you decide you'd like to book a first session, we can arrange that together.
And, if you decide now isn't the right time, or that you'd prefer someone else, that's absolutely okay too.
There is no pressure or obligation.
What Happens in the First Counselling Session?
The first session is about getting to know you.
There isn't a test to pass or a checklist you need to complete.
I'll invite you to talk about what's been happening in your life and what has led you to seek counselling now.
We'll explore what you'd like support with and what you hope might be different over time.
Because I work in a person-centred way, our conversations are led by what feels important to you. Rather than following a rigid agenda, we'll work collaboratively, giving you the time and space to explore your thoughts and feelings in a way that feels comfortable.
We'll also talk about confidentiality, how counselling works, and answer any questions you may have.
There's no expectation that you'll tell me everything in that first meeting.
In fact, many people don't.
Trust develops over time, and counselling moves at a pace that feels manageable for you.
Some people arrive knowing exactly what they want to discuss.
Others aren't sure where to begin.
Both experiences are completely normal.
What If I Get Upset?
This is one of the questions people worry about most.
It's okay to cry.
It's okay if you become emotional.
It's okay if you struggle to find the words.
Counselling is one of the few places where you don't have to hold everything together.
There is no judgement, no expectation to be "strong", and no pressure to protect anyone else from how you're feeling.
Whatever emotions arise, we'll work with them together.
What If I'm Nervous?
I'd actually expect you to be.
Meeting someone new and talking about personal experiences takes courage.
You don't need to hide those nerves from me.
Many clients begin by saying,
"I'm really nervous."
That's perfectly okay.
We simply begin there.
There's no rush, and there is no expectation that you immediately feel comfortable.
We'll take things one step at a time.
Many clients tell me afterwards that they were surprised by how quickly they began to feel at ease once the conversation started. While everyone's experience is different, my hope is that you'll feel welcomed, heard and accepted just as you are.
What If I'm Not Sure Counselling Is Right for Me?
That's okay too.
The introductory call is designed to help you decide whether counselling feels like the right next step.
You are never under any obligation to book sessions afterwards.
Equally, if we begin working together and later decide another type of support would suit you better, we'll talk about that openly.
My priority is helping you find the support that feels right for you.
You’ve got this far, is it time to take the next step?
If you've found yourself reading this blog, there's a good chance that part of you is already wondering whether counselling could help.
You don't have to wait until things become unbearable.
You don't have to be in crisis.
And you certainly don't need to have everything worked out before reaching out.
Sometimes the bravest step isn't knowing exactly where you're going.
It's simply allowing yourself to begin.
If you're thinking about counselling but still feeling unsure, perhaps the next step doesn't have to be committing to therapy—it could simply be having a conversation.
A free 20–30 minute introductory telephone call gives you the opportunity to ask questions, tell me as much or as little as you wish, and decide whether working together feels right for you.
There is no pressure, just a chance to explore what you need.
Whenever you're ready, I'll be here to welcome you.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I don't know what to say?
That's completely normal. You don't need to prepare or rehearse. We can simply start with whatever feels most important—or even with, "I'm not sure where to begin."
What if I cry?
You don't need to apologise for, or feel embarassed by, your emotions. Crying is a natural response, and counselling is a safe place for whatever you are feeling, I have plenty of tissues.
Do I have to tell you everything in the first session?
No. Trust develops over time, and you decide what you share and when you share it. We'll go at a pace that feels right for you.
What if I decide you're not the right counsellor for me?
Finding the right counsellor is important. If you decide I'm not the best fit for you, that's absolutely okay. I want you to find the support that feels right for you.
How often do counselling sessions take place?
Many people choose to attend weekly 50-minute sessions, as this provides consistency and helps build momentum. During our introductory call, we can discuss what might work best for your individual circumstances.